When someone we love for many years breaks our heart, our ‘forever friend’ cheats on us, our dream does not come true even we struggle for it for along time, or getting a condition we did not want it anymore, they all lead us to deep anger.
Those feelings make us uncontrol and sometimes do something foolish after all. Exactly we need some suggestions from others to help us to come out from the anger. But do you know that the Quran gives us some guidances to manage our anger? This essay will give you enlightenment if you are trying to make you better person by handling your personality, based on Sunna—Islamic tradition.
According to common sources, anger is a natural feeling. It is also an emotional process from our inner agitation and desire for revenge. In other words, anger is an emotion which can range from mild irritation to intense rage.
Even though it is a natural feelings, anger can be a fire that destroys our well-being. If you cannot control yourself while getting angry and upset, you will result a tragic toll physically, mentally, even socially.
However, there are always rooms for improvement. Anger management is a skill that everyone can learn. It is not about never getting angry. Instead, it improves learning how to recognize, cope with, and express your anger in productive ways. Anger management strategy is meant to guide you find out healthy ways to decrease and express your feelings.
To repress our anger, Allah has given us some advices, no matter how testing they are. He has said spesifically relating to it:
Those who spend (in Allah’s cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger and who pardon men, verily, Allah loves Al-muhsinoon (all good doers). (QS. Al-Imran: 133-134)
As the messanger of Allah, The Prophet Muhammad had exactly given us some solutions to overcome and manage anger. Here they are!
One of many famous Islamic traditions relating to anger is as Abu Hurairah reported that a man said to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH): “Advise me!” The Prophet said, “Do not become angry and furious”. The man asked (the same) again and again, and the he said in each case, “Do not become angry and furious”. Imam al-Nawawî comments the narration means to control your anger and never lose control.
But the question is how to control and handle it?
When anger becomes unable to control, here are several advices from the Prophet:
One of anger management methods is about to perform wudu as The Prophet said “Anger comes from Satan, Satan was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when any of you is angry, he should perform ablution”
2. Changing position and lying down
In another hadith, Prophet Muhammad gave a sequence of actions to overcome anger. “If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down.
3. Keeping silent
Keeping silent is one of many solutions helping to avoid bad conditions. Imam Ahmad narrated the Prophet Muhammad also advised “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent”. If someone is trying to be quiet, it will make him/his thinking about what you are about to do. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent”.
4. Seeking refuge in Allah
Performing ablution and two or more extra units of prayer to seek refuge in Allah to avoid the ugly effects of anger is the best solution to defend us from Satan. The Prophet said: “Verily, I know a statement, that if he were to say it, his anger would leave: “I seek refuge in Allah from Satan – Auzubillahi min al-syaitan al-rajim”.